So for the experienced parents out there who know...
Am I spoiling my child?
Her Dad works night shift, and because there's a dearth of company to cuddle with most evenings, and I get lonely, I let her sleep with me - on a little pad with curves on the side, both so that she can't roll off and so I have some defense to my grandma, who insists that I will roll over and smother her at night (she also worries about me putting her on the curved pad, because she might roll over and smother, and that the cats that live upstairs will somehow find a way down here, locate Elizabeth, and smother her... so, smothering is a big thing with her). It worked out great when she was first born, because it kept me from having to get out of bed, find a chair in the dark, sit in it, put on my nursing pillow, pick her up, get positioned, and feed her. Roll over and go has worked great. But now, at nearly five months, she won't sleep through the night, because I've taken the easy road and just fed her whenever she wanted it... well, her entire life. My laziness has begun to take a toll, because at five months, shouldn't she be sleeping through the night?
The solution is alluding me. I'd love to just put her in her crib and let her cry, but problem: her crib is in the same room that I sleep in. It's not that I'm a softy or anything - I can let her scream when I'm working. I have three younger siblings, all of whom I learned to block out. I just can't sleep when she cries. I can handle being nursed upon much better than I can a screeching baby.
Is she spoiled beyond redemption? I feel like a very bad momma right now. I'm could to continue to rationalize with the "She's teething" excuse for a few more weeks, but I have this gut feeling that I'm just letting her have her way, and I really don't want her to be a spoiled only-child.
DOES DR. DOBSON MAKE HOUSE CALLS?
1 comment:
I've been pondering my reply for several days...
I don't think she's spoiled- as in ruined, but it sounds as though you would like to set up some different sleep habits. Start during the day- when you are better able to cope with the upset and work on regular naptimes, lying down in her crib. Once she has mastered the skill of sleeping alone in her crib, you can eventually extend it into the night. For the nighttime "training", I would start by nursing her and then putting the milk orbs away so she isn't getting the all-night diner/pacifier. Snuggle her back to sleep.
I have a couple of books on nighttime parenting and sleep habits that are helpful and reassuring. Sleeping through the night is a lovely thought but some kiddos don't manage that feat until they are much older than Liza. We've had several wait until they were nearly a year old!
Also, babies have shorter sleep cycles, meaning that they drift into that lighter stage of sleep more frequently than adults do. The true goal is not to make her sleep without waking but to fall back asleep without your active participation when she does wake.
Hope this helps ya, sis.
Meg
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